A Raven's Unrequited Love
by Serene-Moon-Princess
Summary: OneShot. Rei is in love with Seiya Kou, but so isn't Usagi. When she goes to confide in her friend, she finds out more than she was expecting, including why Usagi gave up on Mamoru.


**A/N: Here's a little one shot I thought of a while back. I finally got around to finishing it…I hope you like it.  
Oh, by the way, if you, like me, didn't remember Chad's Japanese name, it's Yuichiro. Cause I forgot and had to look it up. xD**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or any of its characters. But you all know that. :D**

**A Raven's Unrequited Love**

"Usagi-chan?" I yelled, almost unwillingly opening the door to my best friend's house. The action was exceptionally tough to make. Her name that I called came tumbling unevenly from my lips-I stuttered-something that rarely ever happened to me. I could feel my throat tighten in response to the helplessness and fear that was building up inside my chest. This feeling-it was pure dread, and I was so afraid of what I was doing-who I would hurt-that I was no longer sure if I should follow through with my selfish plan. So I decided that things would be fine. I wasn't going to speak to Usagi, I decided, and I turned back towards the road.

"Rei-chan!" The voice startled me, and I felt my stomach drop in response to the situation that was about to happen. Then I realized the voice was too mature to fit Usagi; it was her mother, Ikuko. She continued to speak, "I just made some lemon pie. Why don't you have a piece while you wait for Usagi to get off the phone?"

I turned to face Ikuko. What more could I do? I was trapped now. "H-hai…arigatou," I replied, bowing before I made my way into the house. It was very quiet, despite the fact that it was the Tsukino household.

Quiet…it was a strange, alienated adjective for the usual cheerful home. Chibi-Usa had returned to the future to visit her parents and Usagi had matured somewhat since Mamoru had left, so there was no one else to try and fill the silence except for Ikuko's petty attempts at normality. The house, in its silence, seemed almost unfamiliar to me, and as I scanned the front hall, it felt emptier.

With a sigh I slid my shoes off and placed my school bag beside them. The unsure feeling in my chest was still nagging at me, but I sat in the living room quickly anyway. I hadn't realized how much time I had spent staring at nothing.

Ikuko entered the room, frightening me slightly when she placed a plate of lemon pie on the coffee table in front of me. She sat in the chair opposite of me with her own plate in hand and she smiled softly.

"It's different with everyone gone," Ikuko said, as if reading my thoughts. "Usagi says she's alright now, but when Mamoru left for America, and before she met Seiya, she seemed so depressed." I could see Ikuko's eyes begin to moisten. She could tell that there was a difference in her daughter's happiness from before. We all could tell Usagi was missing Mamoru more than she was letting on.

Suddenly, I found it hard to reply. "Usagi is happy now, though, right? Seiya seems to put her in better spirits than we can sometimes." The words I spoke were shaky, and I felt stupid for coming to ruin someone else's happiness, especially, that of the person dearest to me. I was fighting back tears now, but I couldn't let Ikuko see me in such a distressed state. Not when her daughter was suffering ten times as worse over something much more important.

As I restrained my tears, I opened my mouth to ask who Usagi was talking to on the phone and if I should come back later, but suddenly I heard Usagi's voice.

"I love you," I heard her whisper softly…sadly. "Bye." Then there was a click and Usagi came bounding down the stairs with a huge grin on her face. "Mom, can I…" Then, all of a sudden, Usagi's bright blue eyes fell upon me. The smile lifted from her face slightly. She looked completely surprised, and with her smile gone, I could see the sorrow in her eyes. As I looked over her, she looked smaller. She looked frail; breakable and pale like a porcelain doll. She looked very unhealthy.

"Rei-chan!" Usagi yelled happily. "Why are you here?" The happiness in her voice sounded forced. I wondered if it was because of her mother's presence, or mine, or maybe both of ours.

"Usagi, I need to talk to you." I glanced towards her mother. "Alone."

Once again, her face changed. She was completely puzzled. Maybe it was better this way. Maybe if she knew nothing about what was coming she would take it easier. I doubted it, really, but I tried to convince myself of it. It made me feel better, like I wasn't some dirty, little, home wrecker.

Nonetheless, Usagi led me up to her room. She had her comic books spread out over a table, her stuffed animals silently sat on her bed with their dark, glassy eyes staring numbly, but the ordinariness didn't fool me. A picture of Usagi and Mamoru was sitting on her bedside table in a pink frame with white bunnies and red hearts painted on the sides and corners. Beside the picture was Usagi's diary. As I walked nearer to the small journal, my eyes widened in surprise. The page was crammed full of Usagi's messy scribbles, and it literally looked like she had left it out in the rain. There were so many smudges, from what I was guessing had been tears, that most of the page was unreadable. In large, dark letters was the only sentence I could make out, and the last word wasn't finished.

The sentence read, "_I think I may die…today I found out that Mamoru_" but I didn't have a chance to read anything around it. Usagi had the small book closed and in a drawer before I even knew what was going on.

I looked up to Usagi. Her eyes reddened and tears were starting to build up behind her lashes. She looked as if her mind was in a completely different universe. Her hand moved to press against her lips and then she tightly squeezed her eyes shut. My hand moved to cover my mouth as I watched Usagi slowly fall apart. I was afraid of what pain I had unintentionally brought to my poor, broken princess.

"Usagi?" I questioned, my frightened voice barely rose above a whisper.

"Sorry," Usagi began, suddenly forcing a smile on her lips. "I'd rather you didn't read that." I sat silently on the floor mat with my hands clasped together. I was beginning to get curious as to what was going on with Usagi and Mamoru.

"What did you want to talk about, Rei?" Usagi's voice had lost some of its cheerfulness. It seemed more monotone-a completely unfitting word for Usagi. The Usagi I knew was always loud and emotional.

"Oh, that," I began the sentence by shaking my head, "it's really nothing important. Just, never mind." Usually I wasn't so indecisive, but when I saw how broken Usagi really was, there was no way I could, or would, possibly hurt her again.

Usagi put her hands on her hips and pouted. She was attempting to look happy, but the sadness was too apparent in her eyes and made her look gloomy. "Rei, come on! We're friends. You can tell me anything." Her fake joy was replaced by fear when I shook my head at her.

"I don't think you'll like what I have to say," I murmured, resting my head on the small table in front of me.

My friend's response surprised me.

"I don't think anyone can tell me much worse than what's already happened."

The words made me wince. I wondered how long those words would hold up.

"Okay, Usagi," my voice was shaky as I looked up to my friend and my stomach tied in knots, "I'm…I'm in love with Seiya."

A muffled sob was Usagi's first reply. Damn it, if Usagi was crying I would have to leave. The only problem was that I was afraid to look at her face. I knew that I had done something horrible-I just didn't want to face it.

"B-but, Rei…I love Seiya."

My eyes stayed focused on my hands. I still didn't have the courage to see what damage I had created. If I looked now, my attempts would be completely worthless.

"I know, Usagi," I choked back a sob, "I want you to break up with him."

I prepared myself to resist hatred to come from Usagi-for the end of our friendship-but I forgot who I was talking to after all.

Usagi was calm when she replied to me. "Rei, I can't do that." The words were simple; just like a mother telling her child to behave. The only problem was that I couldn't leave it at that. I was absolutely, positively, in love with Seiya.

It all started one day while we were waiting for Usagi to finish her detention. The other girls had events come up, so I was left to watch over Usagi for the night. Seiya had been released from his detention early that day, so we were both left out in the hallway waiting for Usagi to come out. The two of us talked and before I knew it, I was falling for Seiya Kou, but it wasn't just a celebrity crush. He was funny, friendly, and even concerned when I spoke about my grandpa and the shrine. When I spoke of my dreams and how I was unsure if I would reach them because of being a sailor senshi, he understood. He empathized with me. He made me feel important-special-and I like it. I liked everything about him. But he was a taken man, by a taken woman. And despite that his girlfriend being my best friend, I was jealous. I knew that if Seiya and I were together he would have all of my love, not just part of it.

So that's why I was here in Usagi's room, begging for her to give me her boyfriend.

"Usagi, why? Why can't you break up with him? You have Mamoru! What will happen when he comes back and Seiya's just some guy you have used?" My voice was full of emotion now. I finally had forced myself to look up at Usagi and she looked devastated. She was so fragile, and I had thrown the stone that finished breaking her down.

"Mamoru isn't coming back." Usagi's voice had a hysterical edge to it now. The palms of her hands were pressed against her eyes as she started weeping quietly into her hands. "I _need_ Seiya."

As I watched my torn and heartbroken princess, I felt my own heart tearing. Never in my entire life had I hated Mamoru, but now I did. I didn't think it was possible for Mamoru to hurt Usagi, especially after the last time he had tried to save her by leaving her. If he could only see the pain Usagi was going through!

"What do you mean 'he's not coming back'?" I questioned, having small hope that he had just decided to stay for a job and not another woman. By how torn Usagi was I guessed it was the second one rather than the better first choice.

Usagi sobbed harder at my question; I wasn't sure if she was even capable of speaking. I tried to comfort her by wrapping her in a hug, but it hardly helped at all.

"Rei, I haven't received one call, one letter, or even a postcard from Mamoru since he left for America. Did you know that?" The hurt in Usagi's voice was ripping a hole in my chest. Each word she spoke only enlarged it-caused it to burn as it widened.

"Of course, you wouldn't," Usagi's voice was a higher pitch now in her hysteria. "I never told anyone. I didn't want you all to worry more than you already were."

My heart sank as I felt more worthless as a friend than ever. Usagi had been unable to confide in me; it was a hard pill to swallow. I always wanted Usagi to be able to talk to me. But we had all become so obsessed with gathering information on the enemy and protecting Usagi that we became oblivious to the pain that was hiding inside her. What kind of friend was I?

A flicker of insanity went through Usagi's voice as she chuckled before she spoke. "I thought he was just busy, you know? But-but…" Tears were streaming harder and faster now as she forced herself to speak. "W-well, I found out…th-that…Galaxia killed M-Mamoru before he even made it to America! She killed him! Sh-she killed him and all the innocent people who were on the plane w-with him!"

Usagi was on her knees now, curled over with her face in the floor. She sobbed uncontrollably, but yet, there was nothing I could do. I wasn't sure what to do, actually, I was still too stunned to even breathe. When my head felt light and my vision started darkening, I finally gasped in air.

Mamoru was dead.

I spoke the sentence to myself a few times before it really sank in. Of course Mamoru wouldn't have intentionally hurt Usagi, but death? No, I would never have guessed that he was…dead. The word was hard for me to think. I couldn't imagine what it was like for Usagi.

"Usagi," I finally managed to sputter when I found my voice, "you should have told us!" Now I had tears streaming down my face. I picked Usagi up off the ground and held her until she had clamed slightly.

"Seiya knows." Usagi stated simply. "He told me he'd leave if it was easier for me, but if he would have left I probably would have died. He's the only thing that has kept me sane." The words 'I'm depressed' were practically written all over Usagi's face. I could barely stand to look at her in her current state. She was a complete mess-hanging on by a thread.

And although I had found out so much that we were all missing about Usagi, I had still brought her pain-large amounts of pain-and it was all because I was being selfish. I knew Seiya had been making her happy, but I never knew it was something serious. All I wanted was to claim him as my own.

"I'm sorry, Usagi…about everything." I had tears of hate for myself and tears of sorrow for Usagi falling now. I felt horrible.

"No, Rei, I'm so-"

"Usagi, don't you dare say sorry!" I yelled the words out of aggravation with myself, but of course Usagi took it as anger towards her-anyone would have. I calmed myself and hugged Usagi. "Really, what have you done wrong?"

I could tell just by the look in Usagi's eyes that she was blaming herself for everything. She opened her mouth, most likely to insist that she was at fault for the mishaps, but Ikuko shouted Usagi's name from the living room.

"You've got another guest!" Ikuko called cheerily. I knew Ikuko well enough to know that the stay-at-home mom loved guests, but there was something behind her voice that implied much more. It sounded like they were pretty special.

Usagi glanced up at me, wiping her eyes clear of tears and smiled brightly. It was nowhere near her usual happy-go-lucky smile-there was too much sadness for that-but to anyone who didn't know her well, she'd seem pretty happy.

"Do I look somewhat normal?" Usagi whispered, seeing that I was watching her clean herself up.

I gave a half-hearted thumbs up to her, and then dried my own eyes.

"Your eyes are still red and puffy," she joked.

The two of us chuckled lightly, but my voice was bleak and my laughter was flat.

There were footsteps as someone came bounding up the stairs. I saw Usagi's eyes light up in anxious anticipation. She had been expecting whoever it was and wanted to look nice. Then, as the door opened, it all made perfect sense. Seiya entered the room, his usual, arrogant smile slightly softer than normal.

"Usagi!" he called her name happily, actually striding towards her with his arms wide open. Usagi jumped up and skipped over to embrace him. She giggled as Seiya spun her around in his arms. And that's when I knew for sure that Usagi was really happy with Seiya.

"Hey, Rei, why're you here?" Seiya asked, only to acknowledge my presence. He kissed Usagi on the top of her head, confirming further, that I never held a flame to Usagi.

My throat tightened as tears threatened to fall down my cheeks again, but I couldn't cry here. Not in front of Usagi now. She was already hurting enough without my pain.

"I just-" I paused, unsure what I was supposed to say. "-needed to talk to Usagi."

I wanted to tell Seiya what we were really speaking about-that I was in love with him-but that would have been extremely selfish. My love would remain a secret from Seiya for now; perhaps for forever. But it was better this way. Seiya would never know my love, and my love for him would remain unrequited…as usual.

"Rei?" Usagi's voice piped in through my thoughts. "Is it okay if Seiya and I go? It's Mamo-M-M…" Small stutters broke Usagi's speech as she tripped over his name. I could see that she was trying not to cry, but she was losing badly.

Seiya reached out for Usagi and wrapped her in his arms. He hated seeing her tears as much as I did. There was pain on his beautiful face as Usagi sobbed brokenly into his chest, and I was green with envy. I wanted to be held in his arms when I was upset. I wanted comforting hugs and kisses, but Seiya was not mine.

"It was Mamoru's birthday today," Seiya whispered to me. "I thought I'd take her out so her mind wasn't on him all day."

I nodded numbly in reply. Of all the days I had to do something horrible, I chose the worst day of all: Mamoru-san's birthday. There was no possible way this day could become any worse.

"Well, don't let me hold you two up!" I barely choked the words out. "I'll just be heading out! See you later!"

I took my chance to leave and exited quickly. The pain in my heart was searing now. I had to escape. As I hurried down the stairs, Ikuko was cleaning up in the kitchen and I called out my goodbyes to her. My shoes and bag were still on the floor in the front hall, now accompanied by Seiya's shoes. The hall was still eerily quiet. Outside, the noises taunted me because when I could reach them, I would finally be able to cry.

In a matter of seconds my shoes were on and I had rushed out the door. A car driving by stifled my first sob, and I completely broke down after that. I didn't know where I could go today, everyone was busy, but it didn't matter anyway. No one would understand me. I was completely alone and the world was falling apart on me. Since there was no where else to go, I just ran for the temple. Maybe Phobos and Deimos would be around for me to talk to. All I needed was someone…anyone who would listen.

It started raining before I even reached the steps that led up to the temple shrine, and before long, it was pouring. I would be drenched before I reached the top, but at least the rain would mix with my tears. Maybe Grandpa wouldn't notice I had been crying. He had been so sick lately; I couldn't burden him with my lowly problems. Not like I had burdened Usagi. The thought that I really gad no human friend to turn to made me sob even harder into the rain.

With my tears blinding me, and the rain making the ground slick, I tripped over the top step. I fell to my hands and knees, blooding and dirtying them. I cried out and my elbows gave out on me, and I fell to my stomach on the cold, wet concrete. For a few seconds I debated getting up, but my body was growing numb in the rain and I decided that it felt good. I remained on the ground for a long time, it seemed, before something was shielding my body from the rain.

"Rei, are you okay?" It was Yuichiro's tenor voice that finally brought me to my senses.

"Do I look okay?" I snapped, my anger releasing all onto him. I cried harder after I spoke, realizing how cruel my words had been to the only person who was trying to help me.

My face was still pressed against the stone cold ground, so I couldn't see his face. I pleaded with him, my eyes still shut and too weak to open, "I'm sorry, Yuichiro, P-please don't le-leave me."

Suddenly, there was warmth around my torso. Yuichiro pulled my up to a sitting position, and that was when I finally opened my eyes. There was a big, black umbrella in his free hand, but it looked like he was soaked anyway. He handed the umbrella to me, and I held it over us silently. With his warm, muscular arms, he carried me up past the temple and to the porch outside of my room.

Yuichiro sat me on the porch and took the umbrella before he left. He promised me he would be back, but I still felt completely alone. I stared into the rain while he was gone, trying to watch every single drop. It was only seconds later when Yuichiro came back with a blanket for me and two mugs of tea.

There was silence between us for a long time. I continued to stare into the rain. Yuichiro just followed my gaze. It was a long time before either of us made a noise. Yuichiro was the one to finally break the rhythm of the slowing rain.

"Do you want to talk, Rei?" he asked, taking a sip from his mug after he spoke. His eyes didn't meet mine.

I shook my head. "I'd rather not talk about it."

The truth was, I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted to tell him that I broke Usagi, that Mamoru had died because our fates were damned by being sailor senshi, that my whole life was a complete lie to everyone. I wanted to tell him everything that I couldn't…because I was a sailor senshi. My identity had to be kept secret. My entire life, my future, even after I died…they were all damned by this curse of abnormality. I just wanted to be a normal human, not bound by the fate of a sailor senshi.

"Okay," he murmured. He didn't move from his spot. "The rain is stopping."

My eyes moved from Yuichiro and off the porch. The sky was still bleak and grey. "Yeah."

I looked out on the lawn and saw a proud, red-chested robin picking through the wet grass. The bird was normal, but then something odd happened. An ebony black raven flew to the robin, its beak burdened by a single flower. With a tilt of its head, the raven offered the flower to the robin. But as if it was frightened by the raven, the proud robin flew away, leaving the raven alone. The raven laid down in the grass, singing out some bittersweet song.

As I watched the scene, I knew how the raven felt.

So I cried.

**A/N: That didn't quite turn out how I would have liked it to. But there it is. It's not the best, but whatever. It was fun to write. I don't know why I felt like writing about Rei, but I think there's a lot about her that's really deep. I didn't get into her true personality that well, but I'm okay with that for this story.**

**Well, that's if for now. I probably will have one more update for The Blue Eyed Beast and then I'm putting some major dedication towards my NaNoWriMo novel.  
I hope to hear from you all soon.**


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